As many of you know by now, I head back to Argentina
tomorrow.
How long will you be
there this time?
I don’t know (probably a couple of months)
What will you be
doing?
I don’t really know that, either (teaching and helping out
in some capacity or another).
Has the uncertainty got to you yet? It has certainly got to
me a time or two.
Since I left Buenos Aires in December, there’s been a couple
of game changers. The seminary building is getting sold/demolished. The
graduates obviously won’t be coming back, but neither will my first-year
English class students. Courses will be done online until a new building can be
found. I will be living in the seminary, Thief Lord style and mostly alone,
until it gets razed. I will be helping- not entirely sure with what, or how-
during this transition time.
Doubts and questions crowd my mind tighter than an overflowing
suitcase. Not only what I’m supposed
to be doing, but why…and why not do
something else entirely? Why not save up money in the months before I start a
Master in Teaching (surprise- don’t know where that will be, either)? Why not
stay home? Why not go off the grid for a while and hike? Why not avoid final
farewells? Why not ignore that Voice that sometimes I hear with my ears but
more often lately in the pit of my stomach?
Why not? When will I
be home? Where is home? What will I be doing? And why?
I remember my fears roughly this time last year, too.
Will I be able to
function 24/7 in my second language? Who will my roommate
be? What about the guy I’m
dating? How will I balance
being a student, friend, and teacher?
They seem small now because I lived through them, and God
walked with me every step of the way. I was able to function in Spanish from
the start and quickly found a best friend in Lucy, who helped me get through
the long distance and break-up blues. I found more than a community in the 20
people I shared the seminary with; I found family. In hindsight, I can see
absolute provision, faithfulness, and goodness shining brightly in the mist of
every uncertainty.
In the words of a dear friend, “hasn’t God been good to you so far? So what’s to stop Him from being
good tomorrow as well?”
And those rhetorical questions I can answer with absolute
certainty: yes and nothing!
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